How do you brainwash someone

But does brainwashing really exist? Not in the way that the mainstream media portray it, says Roger Finke , professor of sociology and religious studies at Penn State. Finke argues that the term is a historical inaccuracy that has become entrenched in social lore. According to the Oxford English Dictionary, the earliest English use of the word brainwashing dates from It entered the language from the Chinese words "xi nao" meaning "wash brain," a term used to describe the coercive methods of the Maoist regime.

However, Finke notes that the popular portrayal of brainwashing became widespread in the United States during the s, a time in which a number of cults and religious movements, like the Unification Church , were on the rise.

Living with a controlling or abusive partner is confusing and draining. They blame you for things that weren't your fault, or that you didn't even do , and you become isolated from your friends and family in an attempt to keep the abuser happy. The way you see the world can also completely change, because it may be dangerous for you to know the truth.

She said the word, which basically means "the incapacity to know what you know," was first used in the literature on the brainwashing of prisoners of war, and has also been applied to people in cults.

The abuser defines what it appropriate in terms of monitoring the partner. The abuser defines what is wrong with the victim, and what she needs to do to change it. Someone can fall into an abuser's trap in a number of ways, but it's often through psychological, emotional, or physical abuse. Once the victim has been hooked and reeled in , their partner starts to bring them down with belittling comments and insults. However, they often pause the abuse with intermittent periods of kindness and warmth.

This means the victim is trauma-bonded to their partner , constantly trying to make them happy, because they believe they deserve to be punished if they don't. The controlling partner might cut off resources like money and transportation, practically keeping the victim a prisoner. By living in fear, the victim changes how they view themselves and the world. Fontes recalled several stories of people who had been controlled by their partners.

Document what really is happening, so you can track reality and go back and check the truth later for yourself. Acknowledge the feelings you are having are real. Ask a trusted friend or family member if they think your potential abuser is manipulating your thoughts.

Limit contact with the gaslighter. Here are some resources to help handle a crisis and a potentially abusive relationship: Contact the Banner Helpline at or schedule an appointment with one of our licensed professionals at Banner Behavioral Health. Call the National Domestic Violence Hotline at Parenting Behavioral Health.

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